February 2, 2015

In Class Essay Written - Personal Narrative

The next essay will be a Process Analysis Essay where you teach someone how to do something - how to do laundry, how to change the oil in your car, how to make a ham/cheese/tomato sandwich.  Read the following essay and Answer the questions at the bottom.  Bring the essay and written answers to class on Wednesday.

How to Make a Sand Castle

For young and old alike, a trip to the beach means relaxation, adventure, and a temporary escape from the worries and responsibilities of ordinary life. Whether swimming or surfing, tossing a volleyball or just snoozing in the sand, a visit to the beach means fun. The only equipment you need is a twelve-inch deep pail, a small plastic shovel, and plenty of moist sand.

Making a sandcastle is a favorite project of beach-goers of all ages. Begin by digging up a large amount of sand (enough to fill at least six pails) and arranging it in a pile. Then, scoop the sand into your pail, patting it down and leveling it off at the rim as you do. You can now construct the towers of your castle by placing one pailful of sand after another face down on the area of the beach that you have staked out for yourself. Make four towers, placing each mound twelve inches apart in a square. This done, you are ready to build the walls that connect the towers. Scoop up the sand along the perimeter of the fortress and arrange a wall six inches high and twelve inches long between each pair of towers in the square. By scooping up the sand in this fashion, you will not only create the walls of the castle, but you will also be digging out the moat that surrounds it. Now, with a steady hand, cut a one-inch square block out of every other inch along the circumference of each tower. Your spatula will come in handy here. Of course, before doing this, you should use the spatula to smooth off the tops and sides of the walls and towers.

Evaluation Questions:

1. What important information seems to be missing from the introductory paragraph? Which sentence from the body paragraph might be placed more effectively in the introduction?


2. Identify the transitional words and phrases used to guide the reader clearly from step to step in the body paragraph.


3. Which piece of equipment mentioned in the body paragraph doesn't appear in the list at the end of the introductory paragraph?


4. Suggest how the single long body paragraph might be effectively divided into two or three shorter paragraphs.


5. Notice that the writer includes two warnings in the concluding paragraph of the essay. Where do you think these warnings should have been placed, and why?


6. Which two steps have been listed in reverse order? Rewrite these steps, arranging them in a logical sequence.